Avoid a New Relationship During the Separation Process

It is easy to say this from behind my desk, but: Do not get a boyfriend or a girlfriend during the divorce or separation process. That timing of seeking to fill an emotional void with a new boyfriend or girlfriend usually does not create a solid foundation from which to establish a healthy relationship. You are likely in a tenuous emotional state not conducive to the establishment of a new relationship -- especially while the immediate past relationship is still unraveling financially or for custody purposes. I have had clients tell me that going through a divorce is more traumatic than experiencing the death of a spouse. Everyone feels differently about the circumstance of loss but with the death of a spouse, the emotional side of the relationship hopefully ended on good terms. In a divorce, however, the relationship usually ends on negative terms reinforced continuously by presence of an ex constantly pushing your buttons.

I've had numerous clients trying to plan their next wedding depending on when their current divorce will be final. (A year or so later I usually end up representing them again on that divorce too)

The “honeymoon” phase of a hurried relationship can actually last longer than the honeymoon phase based from a relationship with a more solid foundation. The commonality shared is the loss, damage, arguments, and emotional instability experienced by the divorcing spouse. A relationship built upon the misery of fighting over a divorce is not one that will be healthy or that will last. Do your best to resist attempting to fill an emotional void with a quick new girlfriend or boyfriend since it clouds your judgment and misdirects your focus.