Avoid a New Relationship During the Separation Process

It is easy to say this from behind my desk, but: Do not get a boyfriend or a girlfriend during the divorce or separation process. That timing of seeking to fill an emotional void with a new boyfriend or girlfriend usually does not create a solid foundation from which to establish a healthy relationship. You are likely in a tenuous emotional state not conducive to the establishment of a new relationship -- especially while the immediate past relationship is still unraveling financially or for custody purposes. I have had clients tell me that going through a divorce is more traumatic than experiencing the death of a spouse. Everyone feels differently about the circumstance of loss but with the death of a spouse, the emotional side of the relationship hopefully ended on good terms. In a divorce, however, the relationship usually ends on negative terms reinforced continuously by presence of an ex constantly pushing your buttons.

I've had numerous clients trying to plan their next wedding depending on when their current divorce will be final. (A year or so later I usually end up representing them again on that divorce too)

The “honeymoon” phase of a hurried relationship can actually last longer than the honeymoon phase based from a relationship with a more solid foundation. The commonality shared is the loss, damage, arguments, and emotional instability experienced by the divorcing spouse. A relationship built upon the misery of fighting over a divorce is not one that will be healthy or that will last. Do your best to resist attempting to fill an emotional void with a quick new girlfriend or boyfriend since it clouds your judgment and misdirects your focus.


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Client Testimonials

My case had to be the inspiration for this site. I would go round and round with my ex when it came to things like summer visitation dates, locations, transportation and pickups. This site allowed my ex and I to document the “back and forth” without ever being face-to-face. $7.50 per month is well spent (less than one phone call to my attorney). I highly recommend it!

- W. Jackson

This website shows that I provided my ex contact information and especially extracurricular and sporting event contacts. I don’t have to upload schedules but can just post the organization or coaches contact information and they are then tasked with following up on sporting schedules. I like that I can then show that I am not to blame and have been providing information.

- H. Tupper

Online program helps divorced parents with communication. OCI eliminates confusion, ignored questions, and unpleasant exchanges between parents.

- Cover Story, Sentinel News, July 2017

The site saves a record of everything communicated, eliminating he-said, she-said disputes.

- Illinois Bar Journal August 2018

[OurChildInfo] claim[s] further uniqueness in that a parent can’t delete, back date or alter data and can print out a log file with date and time stamped log file.

- Texas Bar Blog March 2019

This website was a potential solution to a daily problem plaguing my clients going through divorce and custody battles!

- Oklahoma College of Law March 2019