Avoid a New Relationship During the Separation Process

It is easy to say this from behind my desk, but: Do not get a boyfriend or a girlfriend during the divorce or separation process. That timing of seeking to fill an emotional void with a new boyfriend or girlfriend usually does not create a solid foundation from which to establish a healthy relationship. You are likely in a tenuous emotional state not conducive to the establishment of a new relationship -- especially while the immediate past relationship is still unraveling financially or for custody purposes. I have had clients tell me that going through a divorce is more traumatic than experiencing the death of a spouse. Everyone feels differently about the circumstance of loss but with the death of a spouse, the emotional side of the relationship hopefully ended on good terms. In a divorce, however, the relationship usually ends on negative terms reinforced continuously by presence of an ex constantly pushing your buttons.

I've had numerous clients trying to plan their next wedding depending on when their current divorce will be final. (A year or so later I usually end up representing them again on that divorce too)

The “honeymoon” phase of a hurried relationship can actually last longer than the honeymoon phase based from a relationship with a more solid foundation. The commonality shared is the loss, damage, arguments, and emotional instability experienced by the divorcing spouse. A relationship built upon the misery of fighting over a divorce is not one that will be healthy or that will last. Do your best to resist attempting to fill an emotional void with a quick new girlfriend or boyfriend since it clouds your judgment and misdirects your focus.

 

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Client Testimonials

Shortly after our divorce, my ex-wife moved, changed doctors, and would not provide a phone number. Our Child Info has been a great tool to help me keep track of all requests. And now, if she wants to avoid communication, that lack of a response is also tracked. This site has been so helpful in enforcing my basic rights to my son.

- S. Downs

Our Child Info has been very helpful in managing communication with my ex-husband. The final divorce Order said that we were to communicate with one another but it did not explain how to accomplish that. This site provides a simple way to exchange information about our child and has saved me a lot of money since I have been using it.

- M. Rivera

My ex and I do not get along and services encouraging "co-parenting" are useless. This site saves all information provided and questions asked. Since my ex cannot delete or backdate responses or requests, this site has become very helpful for me prove that history.

- H. Casey

Online program helps divorced parents with communication. OCI eliminates confusion, ignored questions, and unpleasant exchanges between parents.

- Cover Story, Sentinel News, July 2017

The site saves a record of everything communicated, eliminating he-said, she-said disputes.

- Illinois Bar Journal August 2018

[OurChildInfo] claim[s] further uniqueness in that a parent can’t delete, back date or alter data and can print out a log file with date and time stamped log file.

- Texas Bar Blog March 2019

This website was a potential solution to a daily problem plaguing my clients going through divorce and custody battles!

- Oklahoma College of Law March 2019